I Need You

December 9, 2004

I listen to the Jars of Clay song. “I Need You.” Who is it that I need? “You’re all I’m living for.” Who is the you? All our needing, our seeking-drugs, sex, alcohol, food, tv, exercise (not my drug of choice), lethe, oblivion however you choose it–all roads lead back to Jesus. Whether you, we, I choose him is the only question that bears answering. I have a fatal cut; will hiding it help? I think not. What pours from the wound is life, time, opportunity, and in the end, my soul.

I read Jane Pauley’s autobiography. She talked about approaching life with resistance. What resonance. Why must I be dragged to everything kicking and screaming? I might acquiesce outwardly, but my claws are bloody inside from scraping against walls, floors, anything that might stop the progress. Why am I so afraid? Even when I want to assent, I resist. O wretched man that I am. Who shall deliver me?

Oh yeah, that’s what I started out with. I need you. “You are the shelter from the rain, and the rain to wash me away.” All, all, all I’m living for.

Planning on pulling my other blog, so if you haven’t caught up with Jane and Nicholas, you’d better get to the cliff hanger. They’ll be back.

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